Tue, 27. September 2011
What Cheeses Me Off - 1
Today it was a young lady:
- Intruder: "Hello. How are you today?"
- Joan: "Can I help you?"
- Intruder: "I'm here to collect the useless catalogue which I arrogantly littered your verandah with three weeks ago, instead of leaving it in the letterbox, which I think would have been more polite."
- Joan: "I expect my husband has put it in the bin with the other junk mail."
- Intruder: "It's not junk mail. I left a note saying you have to leave it lying around on your property until I get around to collecting it!"
- Joan: "I expect my husband has put it in the bin with the other junk mail."
- Intruder: "I need it back. When you find it, please ring me. Here's my phone number."
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Yesterday it was a salesman speaking with a very bad accent - probably Eastern European or Middle-Eastern (or Scottish).
- Intruder: (unintelligible but probably some variation of) "Hello. How are you today?"
- Joan: Can I help you?
- Intruder: (unintelligible but probably) "I'm from some company you've never heard of."
- Joan: No thank you.
- Intruder: (unintelligible but probably) I'm selling something very crappy and I'd like you to buy it.
- Joan: No thank you.
- Intruder: (unintelligible but probably) Please buy. It's something you'll never need to use.
- Joan: No thank you. Goodbye.
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Joan always get's to the door first. I think she is afraid I'll buy something, or sign a contract. I remember a few years ago I knocked back a Telstra salesperson on my doorstep. He then said "just to prove to my boss that I had called," would I just "sign at the bottom of this form" (new Telstra contract).
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Last week it was the wretched Jehova's Witnesses. Joan thinks I'll kill them and end up in prison, so she never let's me answer the door to them.
- Intruders: (nonchalently) "How are you today?
- Joan: "You're Jehovah's Witnesses."
- Intruders: "Yes. We want you to join our poisonous religion."
- Joan: "No thank you."
- Intruders: " Can I leave a copy of our incredibly ridiculous Watchtower propaganda magazine?"
- Joan: "No thank you. Goodbye."
Jehovah's Witnesses people are really, really dumb. They amble up the road in a group and split into pairs to wander up to each front door. They walk really slowly. They ring our door bell about four times a year. They've done it for the entire twenty-seven years we have lived here. That's well over a hundred knock-backs but they still keep coming. Did I tell you they are dumb?
Maybe next time they turn up:
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I can put up with Junk mail and I can put up with junk e-mail messages but junk salesmen on my doorstep really cheese me off!