You couldn't make it up.
Sat, 18. December 2010
Religion: The Wacky Side
For a few months around 2009 I kept a list of some occasional “everyday” minor news items exposing the world of religion for it's intolerence, double standards, primitive beliefs, violence, corruption, immorality, child molestation, scientific ignorance, criminal activity, sexual hypocrisy, political meddling, denial of basic human rights, incest, paedophilia, embezzlment, intolerance, covering up crimes and sheer quirkiness. Here are some of the wacky religious events recorded in the news during that period:
14th August 2009
CHILD QUADRAPED A HINDU GOD
Thousands of people have flocked to a remote Nepalese village 2,000 metres up in the Himalayas to worship a baby born with four arms and four legs, revering him as the reincarnation of a Hindu god. Villagers in the district of Ramechhap have said six-month-old Risab, who has a headless “parasitic twin” attached at the abdomen, is akin to the elephant god, Ganesh, whose various forms have between two and 16 arms.
15th Mar 2009:
JESUS' FACE CREATED AFTER PRIEST SITS ON CUSHION
Thousands flocked to a Roman Catholic church on the French Indian Ocean island of Reunion on Saturday after believers said they saw the "face of Christ" in the pleats of a church cushion. Believers and curious onlookers pulled out cameras to take pictures of the cushion attached to the priest's chair.
Antoinette, an 82-year-old parishioner, said the face was a "divine phenomenon" as tears welled up her eyes. "This church is a holy site*," added Lise-May, another worshipper. "It's a sign of God," said parish priest Daniel Gavard. (*holy site or holy shite?)
14th June 2008:
CATHOLIC PRIEST CONVICTED OF INDECENT EXPOSURE
Roman Catholic priest faces up to 18 months in jail after being convicted of indecent exposure for jogging in the nude.The 54-year-old Rev. Robert Whipkey may also be ordered to register as a sex offender. Whipkey was arrested last year after jogging on a high school track in the early morning darkness in the town of Frederick, north of Denver.
14th June 2008
JEWS BUILD POOL TO CLEANSE WOMEN
A new bathing pool in Oxford will be used by up to 30 Jewish women to immerse themselves in once a month after menstruation. It is the first time the city has had a so-called mikvah bath, since medieval times and is a key part of Jewish faith. (Jews can be crazy too!)
7th June 2008
MONKEY 'GOD' NOW CHAIRMAN OF NEW COLLEGE
He's a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he's the chairman of an Indian business school. Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman. All Hindus know that Hanuman can lift mountains and leap oceans, but ancient texts make no mention of his business acumen.Hanuman is one of the most popular gods in the crowded pantheon of Hindu deities. His most famous feat, as described in the Hindu epic the Ramayana, was leading a monkey army to fight the demon King Ravana and rescue a kidnapped princess.
29th May 2008
RELIGIOUS ORDER REFUSES SEWAGE TREATMENT
Members of a small, isolated Amish community are refusing to follow state code in their handling of raw sewage from a school's two outhouses, citing their religious convictions. Waste from the outhouses has been collected in plastic buckets, then dumped onto fields. The county is demanding the Amish install a holding tank and contract with a certified sewage hauler for disposal. "We feel this sewage plan enforcement, along with its standards, is against our religious beliefs," they wrote. The Amish property owner says he is willing to go to jail to defend his beliefs.
25th May 2008
CHRISTIAN DADS' TAKE DAUGHTERS TO CHASTITY BALL
An increasing number of young American women and girls are attending purity balls with their conservative Christian fathers who promise to protect their daughters' chastity until marriage. About 88 per cent of these women lose their virginity before they wed.
16th May 2008
CHURCH BLESSES MOTOR BIKES
Area motorcycle enthusiasts are invited to Wabash Alliance Church on Sunday afternoon for a Blessing of the Bikes service. The service would show those who ride that Wabash Alliance is a “bike friendly church.” Pastor Don Mitchell, said the service will include prayers for the bikers, as well as for veterans, those lost in battle, those lost on motorcycles, and a general blessing for the riding season.
16th May 2008
POPES ASTRONOMER SAYS ALIENS COULD BE INNOCENT OF ORIGIMAL SIN
The search for extraterrestrial life does not contradict belief in God, the pope's chief astronomer Jose Gabriel Funes said on Tuesday, adding that some aliens might even be innocent of the original sin. “The hypothesis of extraterrestrial life cannot be ruled out. Just as there are a plethora of creatures on Earth, there could be others, equally intelligent, created by God," he said. Mr Funes said: "If other intelligent beings exist, it's not certain that they need redemption." They could "have remained in full friendship with their creator" without committing the original sin, he said. If not, extraterrestrials would benefit equally from the "incarnation," in which Jesus Christ, the Son of God, assumed earthlings' flesh, body and soul in order to redeem them, which Mr Funes called "a unique event that cannot be repeated".
25th April 2008
CATHOLIC MONK DEAD 40 YEARS IN MACABRE DISPLAY
The exhumed body of Padre Pio, a saint considered a miracle worker by his devotees, attracted fifteen thousand pilgrims when it went on display 40 years after his death. Padre Pio is one of the Catholic Church's most popular saints and during his lifetime the Italian monk was said to have had the stigmata, the bleeding wounds of Jesus' crucifixion on his hands and feet. The economy of this southern Italian town revolves around the cult of Padre Pio and heaving crowds waited to see his body, displayed in a crystal, marble and silver sepulchre in the crypt of the monastery where he spent most of his life.
His face was reconstructed with a lifelike silicone mask of the type used in wax museums because it was apparently too decomposed to show when the body was exhumed.
(See also 4th Mar 2008).
23rd April 2008
MUSLIM BLASPHEMY EARNS FOUR YEARS JAIL
An Indonesian Muslim, who declared himself to be a prophet after Mohammed, was sentenced Wednesday to four years in jail for blasphemy. A key tenet of mainstream Islam is that Mohammad was the final prophet, and will not be followed by any other messengers from God.
9th April 2008
HINDU GODDESS REBORN IN INDIA
A baby has been born with two faces and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. Baby Lali has an extremely rare condition where a single head has two faces, meaning she has two noses, two pairs of lips and two pairs of eyes. She has since had around 100 people a day visit. The little girl is being hailed as a return of the Hindu goddess of valor, Durga - a fiery deity traditionally depicted with three eyes and many arms.
9th April 2008
DISORDERLY CATHOLIC PRIEST RETURNS TO MINISTRY
The Roman Catholic priest accused of stalking Conan O'Brien pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. He promised to stay away from O'Brien for two years. "I recognize that what I did was disorderly, and I’m glad the people of New York have accepted that... I plan to return to the Archdiocese of Boston, and I hope to return to ministry duties.
3rd April 2008
ISLAM TO BAN CUDDLING
Islamic lawyers meeting in Malaysia want an existing ban on unwed Muslim couples from cuddling or holding hands to be extended to non-Muslims caught flirting with the faithful.
30th Mar 2008
MAD CULT LEADER FACES CRIMINAL CHARGES - BUT WORLD TO END IN MAY
28 members of a Russian cult are still living underground. The doomsday cult members have been barricaded in a cave dug since October, refusing to come out until the end of the world, which they predict will happen in May. Pyotr Kuznetsov, the leader of their cult, did not join them in the cave, saying God had called him to other tasks. He was brought to the scene to negotiate with them. Found to be of unsound mind by a psychological evaluation, he is facing criminal charges for inciting religious and ethnic hatred. He has also been charged with forming a religious group that urges citizens to harm their own health or to ignore their civic responsibilities.
28th Mar 2008
RELIGIOUS CRUSADERS HAD A BIT ON THE SIDE
Scientists have detected the faint genetic traces left by medieval crusaders in the Middle East. The team says they found a particular DNA signature which recently appeared in Lebanon and is probably linked to the crusades.
19th Mar 2008
CATHOLICS JAILED FOR CRIMINAL DAMAGE
Zelda Jeffers and Fr Martin Newell of the London Catholic Worker community were sent to prison yesterday, after pouring fake blood onto the gangway entrance to the Defence System Equipment International Arms Fair in east London in September. The entrance to one of the world’s largest arms fairs was closed for at least 4 hours as a result.They were found guilty of criminal damage” in February and ordered to pay fines and costs totalling £700. However, as they refused to pay these, the Magistrate ordered them to serve a custodial sentence.
19th Mar 2008
NUNS EXPECT GOD TO INTERFERE WITH WEATHER CONDITIONS
Australia's Catholic church has unveiled its secret plan to ensure fine weather for Pope Benedict's planned mid-winter cruise on Sydney Harbour in 2008. "I have nuns all around this country praying for good weather for that day," Bishop Anthony Fisher, coordinating the Pope's trip in July, told Australian media.
15th Mar 2008
MUSLIMS 'BATTLE PLAN' TO DEFEND ITSELF FROM CARTOONISTS
The Muslim world has created a battle plan to defend its religion from political cartoonists and bigots. Concerned about what they see as a rise in the defamation of Islam, leaders of the world's Muslim nations are considering taking legal action against those that slight their religion or its sacred symbols.
The idea pits Muslims against principles of freedom of speech enshrined in the constitutions of numerous Western governments.
12th Mar 2008
NEW MORTAL SIN 'DISCOVERY' BY CATHOLIC CHURCH
The Vatican wants to update the church's list of mortal sins. Pope Gregory the Great devised the seven deadly sins - envy, pride, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth - in the 6th century. A person that commits a mortal sin risks burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence.
The seven deadly sins should be updated to take into account modern developments such asgenetic modification, experiments on humans, pollution, causing social injustice, causing poverty, taking drugs and obscene wealth. (The Vatican itself causes poverty and is obscenely wealthy).
10th Mar 2008
WOMAN KILLED FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS
A man who was found with a woman's body packed in dry ice in his hotel room told a newspaper her death may have been in some way connected to religion. "Everything that happened was for religious reasons," Stephen David Royds told the Orange County Register on Sunday. He repeated the statement four times but did not elaborate.
10th Mar 2008
MAN WANTED WEAPON BLESSED
A 38-year-old man brought a sword into the Holy Apostles Church on North Carefree. He told police he wanted to have it blessed.
10th Mar 2008
CHURCH OF ENGLAND SAYS SEX IS HOLY
The Church of England has written a saucy good sex guide for their parishioners. The handbook, called Growing Together, gives candid advice on married life and says sex, far from being naughty, is something 'holy and wonderful' and something to be 'celebrated' (a bit like celebrating holy communion then?)
10th Mar 2008
CATHOLICS QUEUE FOR CANINE COMEDY COMMUNION
Hundreds of dogs, many dressed as babies or clowns, were taken to celebrate canine mass in the Nicaraguan town of Masaya, in an annual ritual where the owners pray for their pets to be cured or avoid falling ill. A long queue of Catholics, carrying their pets or leading them on leashes, waited their turn to pass by an image of a “saint”. They thanked the “saint” for curing their pets or ask for the dogs to be protected from illness. "We brought him so he does not get sick," said a local resident, talking about her six-month-old basset hound, dressed in a soccer outfit.
10th Mar 2008
DAD SAYS SON'S RELIGIOUS CONVERSION SHOULD REDUCE SENTENCE
The father of a driver who killed a group of six teenagers hopes his son will be released. Thomas Towle, 36, was found guilty of six counts of dangerous driving causing death after he veered into the teenagers at Cardross, near Mildura, two years ago. "I personally hope the judge sentences him to time already served," Mr Towle said. Mr Towle said his son was a reformed man. "Thomas has changed his attitude altogether, he's become a Christian," he said. "Tom's certainly turned to God in the sense it's the only thing he's had to turn to - how do you carry the death of six people?"
7th Mar 2008
CHURCH BANS DRINKING HOLY COMMUNION
The flu is hitting very hard this year. So to fight back, one church has banned people from shaking hands. On top of that, the church in Kansas City, Missouri isn't allowing people to drink from the chalice during communion. The church made the move after a woman in the area died of the flu.
6th Mar 2008
MOSES HIGH ON DRUGS ON MOUNT SINAI, SAYS HEBREW PROFESSOR
Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study. Mind-altering substances were an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, wrote Benny Shanon, Professor of Cognitive Psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. "As far as Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, or a legend or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics,". He also said Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the "burning bush".
5th Mar 2008
UNIVERSITY BANS MEN TO ACCOMMODATE MUSLIM WOMEN
Harvard University has banned men from one of its gyms for a few hours a week to accommodate Muslim women who say it offends their sense of modesty to exercise in front of the opposite sex.
4th Mar 2008
CATHOLIC CELEBRITY EXHUMED FOR PUBLIC DISPLAY
The body of Padre Pio, a Roman Catholic monk who died 40 years ago, has been exhumed, to be put on public display. Far more Italian Catholics prayed to Padre Pio than to any other icon of the faith, including the Virgin Mary or Jesus. He became a “saint” in 2002 - after the Church said it had found “evidence” that the “miraculous” cure of a sick woman was due to the dead monk's intercession. He is said to have “wrestled with the devil in his monastery cell”; “predicted future events”; to have been “seen in two places at once”; and to have been “able to tell people their sins before they confessed them to him”.He was dogged by accusations that he was a fraud and Church officials have repeatedly denied that he was a fake. A book last year suggested he was a self-harming man who may have used carbolic acid to create wounds in his hands mimicking those of Christ when he was nailed to the cross. (Is this a script from the Goon Show!”) (See 25th April 2008)
27th Feb 2008
SQUABBLE OVER RELIGIOUS HEAD DRESS IN QUEENSLAND
Queensland's Council of Parents and Citizens Association says it should not matter if a student wears religious dress to school or not. The state's Anti-Discrimination Commission is investigating whether Ormiston College discriminated against a 12-year-old Brisbane student by not letting him wear his turban.
27th Feb 2008
SQUABBLE OVER RELIGIOUS HEAD DRESS IN TURKEY
Turkey's higher education watchdog has warned university chiefs they risked prosecution if they flouted new laws allowing women students to wear the Islamic headscarf.
31st Jan
RELIGION USED AS TOURIST BAIT
A Slovak mayor is hoping that a project to build Europe's tallest statue of Jesus Christ will put his city on the map. Presov Mayor Pavol Hagyari predicts plans for the 33-metre tall statue will "bring in religious tourists" to the eastern city.
17th Jan 2008
WACKY ACTOR CLAIMS CHURCH CAN DO ANYTHING
"We're the authorities on getting people off drugs. We're the authorities on the mind. We're the authorities on improving conditions," says actor Tom Cruise about the Church of Scientology. "We can rehabilitate criminals. Way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures."
31st Dec 2007
ROME TO FIGHT THE DEVIL WITH EXORCISTS
Father Gabriele Amorth, 82, the Exorcist in Chief, announced in Rome that the Catholic Church has vowed to "fight the Devil head-on" by training hundreds of priests in exorcism. "Thanks be to God that we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," Father Amorth said. The rite involves gestures and prayers to invoke the power of God and stop the "demon" influencing its victim.
The news items have been abbreviated and the headlines are generally mine.
Jews, Christians, Scientologists, Muslims. Nothing they do seems to make any sense.
See my astronomy images on my website: http://home.exetel.com.au/greybeard/Index.htm